All Or Nothing
by WoollyBladders
Summary: From the age of eight, Drcao and Luna have been hiding a secret frienship that has held strong for many years. But when Luna does something that is seen as a betrayal by Draco, can their love and friendship last or will it forever be destroyed?
1. Someone Special

Chapter One. Someone Special

"But Father—,"

"That is all I have to say on the matter. You will do as I tell you whether you like it or not," Lucius Malfoy said to his only son. Draco heard the finality in his voice and knew he was to be obeyed.

Reluctantly, he trudged up the long staircase and down the even longer corridor until he finally got to his room. His formal dinner clothes were already set out for him and his nanny, Miss Beth, was waiting to dress him. Out of anybody in the whole of Malfoy Manor, he liked her the best. She was kind to him like his mother and father never could be and oftentimes treated him like an adult.

"I can dress myself, thank you very much," he grumbled to her. His irritation, however, stemmed not from that he was eight years old and still had to be dressed, but from the fact that he had to get dressed for this stupid dinner anyway.

His parents were forever hosting dinners and balls to show off their immense wealth to the pureblood wizard community. Usually, Draco got to stay upstairs and eat with Miss Beth but this time his father had apparently decided to make this one "family oriented".

"Oh, cheer up Mr. Malfoy! I know you don't want to go tonight but I promise you it really won't be that bad. It's not like you're going to be the only child there," Miss Beth said.

"Yes, I'll be with England's finest snotrags that all think they're better than me and tell me the mean things their parents say about mine behind they're backs. And besides, I would rather be here with you," he said earnestly. He hardly ever associated with the children similar to him in age and background. They were always snotty and thought they were superior to him, or either he just didn't like them. But he knew they were wrong because his father had always told him that nobody was better than a Malfoy and Draco took that to heart.

Miss Beth sighed. "Well, the only thing to do is grin and bear it."

"What's that mean?"

She chuckled. "It means you have to suck it up without complaint. And hopefully, when your father see's how well-behaved you are tonight, he'll reward you."

Maybe he'll let me have real flying lessons!" he said excitedly.

"Perhaps he will. Now wouldn't that be worth making nice for a couple of hours?"

"Yes, I suppose so," he said glumly, resigning himself to the fact that he would have to endure hours of torture.

"And besides, they can't be all be bad. There has to be a diamond in a ruff somewhere under those 'snotrags' as you call them."

"What's that mean?" he asked irritated because he was tired of grown-ups using phrases that he didn't understand.

"It means you might indeed meet somebody special tonight."

It was just as Draco had expected. Pansy was just as whiny as usual, maybe even more so. Blaise kept looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but here (Draco could relate to that) but the haughty expression that was permanently etched upon his face made Draco want to punch it right off. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to have gotten even dumber; however, they were easily the best company at the table.

"I hate duck," Pansy whined in her annoying voice as she picked at her half-eaten plate of duck.

So did Draco. But instead of actually ingesting the stuff it was neatly folded up in a napkin in his lap. Proud of his smarts, he decided to rub it in to her.

"Really?" he drawled. "Well I found it to be delicious," he said, trying to talk like his parents talked.

Pansy sneered at his empty plate and put her pudgy nose in the air.

Just then, Draco's father got up from his seat and announced that there would be dancing in the ballroom. Inwardly (and outwardly for that matter), Draco groaned. Not that he didn't know how to dance, and well – it's just that he really hated to dance. He saw no point in it and was steadily thinking of a way to get out of it.

"Dance with me?" Pansy simpered at him.

It was on the tip of his tongue to say no but then Lucius just _happened_ to show up by his side and answered, "Of course Draco will dance you."

And then he added silkily in an undertone so that just Draco could hear him, "I better see you dancing with Pansy with a smile on your face, genuine or not, or there will be hell to pay. It is important that we stay in good graces with the Parkinsons. After that I don't care what you do." And then he gave Draco an affectionate little pat on the shoulder for appearances only and then went off to mingle with the guests.

Draco sighed. "Oh _fine_."

"Yes!" Pansy squealed and dragged him by the arm into the ballroom.

The only good thing about the dance is that it was short and not a very complicated one. When it was finally over he bowed to her and then dove into the crowd with so much as a backward glance. He ducked into the first set of stairs he could find and realized it was the servant's staircase because it was not as wide as the one's he was used to taking. In fact, he didn't think he had ever been on these stairs and wondered if he would even be able to find his way into familiar territory. Also, it was kind of dark and he was starting to feel nervous.

As he walked the dark corridor with the flickering candles, he had the feeling that he wasn't alone. But when he turned around there was nobody there, so he kept walking. Up ahead the corridor split to the left and right. He knew that his window was in the front of the house and so he took the left path and hoped he was going the right way. At the very least it was lighter this way and he ran without really watching where he was going.

Suddenly, something collided with him and in effect throwing him backwards. He landed on his back with a loud thud and something – no, rather _someone – _landed on top of him.

"What the—!"

But he stopped mid-sentence as large protrubent eyes stared down at him. He gasped – they were the most entrancing he had ever seen.

"I'm really sorry," she said breathlessly. "I was just looking for the loo and wasn't paying attention."

She picked herself off the floor and dusted off her yellow dress. She had very long dirty blond hair and was a bit on the short side. She was squirming a bit which told him that she was serious about have to go. She reached out a hand to help him and without even thinking he took it. Her hand was surprisingly cold and the feeling jerked his senses back in place.

"Who are you, anyway?" he sneered. He wasn't sure how much he liked being knocked down by a girl with eyes _that_ large. But for some reason, Miss Beth's words seemed to come back to his mind. Had he just met someone that would make this night just a little better? Someone special?

"I'm Luna Lovegood."


	2. The Hardest Part of Leaving

Chapter Two. The Hardest Part of Leaving

**Authors Note: I'm really really _really_ sorry for the delay! I just got a computer last week as I just ruined my laptop. That's my second computer that's dead already. I'm working on a record.**

**Anyway, I want to say thanks to all that have reviewed and support this story. I promise I'll update better. In fact, I already have another chapter completed and another in the works. So once I'm done chapter 4, chapter 3 will be up. That'll probably be around next week sometimes.**

**Love Woolly**

Draco watched almost disinterestedly as servants rushed to and fro, trying to get his things packed for Hogwarts. He was sitting on the bed, legs dangling off the bed, elbow on knee and face in hand. A wide-mouthed yawn completed the picture. On the outside, he was the perfect picture of a spoiled little eleven-year boy who was totally unaffected by what was going on around him. On the inside, however…

He wasn't exactly sure what he was feeling. Not nervous, exactly, because he already knew most of his fellow Slytherins (and of course there was no doubt that he would _become_ a Slytherin). He definitely wouldn't be homesick because there was hardly anything to miss here. His father was demanding and controlling and his mother was smothering. In truth, he knew what was holding him back from getting caught up in the excitement: Luna.

Luna, his one true friend, the only child that went beyond the exterior. Luna, who was his best friend and he her's. Luna, who he was leaving behind.

It was very much unlike him to have such strong feelings for a person, and one who wasn't quite normal at that. In fact, the only other person who elicited much emotion from him was his father, whom he was constantly intimidated by. His mother was simply tolerated. Miss Beth had long ago left the picture (and while he was never told why, there were rumors from the servants of an affair, though the how's and why's were still unclear), and he had only ever felt a fondness for her anyway.

But Luna was different, and in more ways than one. She was pureblood, yes, but that never made a difference one way or another to her. That was very different than what he had always been taught. She never judged him, yet she was never afraid to voice her opinion. He liked that about her.

However, Luna certainly was not a normal girl, by anybody's standards. She believed in things that he was pretty sure did not exist. And she honestly didn't care what anybody thought about her. She said whatever came out her, no matter how random they were. Nothing fazed her.

And he was leaving her. Leaving her to be with a bunch of snotty upshots that simply thought they were the best, him being the leader of them all. He would undoubtedly have a good time, though; after all, he wasn't exactly crying about leaving. Even though he and Luna were parting, to everything else in Draco's life, he could not see himself looking back.

Feeling to anxious to sit still, he leapt off the bed. He actually had no desire to be in this room anymore. He was starting to feel suffocated. As he passed the servants paid him no mind, still hurrying about. He scooted out the door and into the corridor, shutting the door behind him. Draco knew exactly where he was going; his playroom. It was where he spent the majority of his time. Of course, being eleven, he hadn't actually played with toys in there for years. However, he did have a variety of games that he loved to play there, and it was a great place to go to when he just needed to escape. Now, of course, was one of those times.

But when he walked in there was already somebody there waiting for him.

"Honestly, Luna, do you ever do anything right?" he asked but smiling nonetheless. He should not have been surprised, actually. Nothing she did should surprise him. And yet it did.

She looked up from the magazine she was reading in an armchair (his favorite armchair!). He knew without even looking that it that wacky tabloid her father printed. She read the thing religiously. She also sent him a copy every month just as faithfully, though he made no secret of trashing it every time. In fact, this month's issue was being used as the lining for his owl's cage.

"Surely you were expecting me," she said. It wasn't a question.

Draco shrugged. In truth, she always made him so uneasy with her insightfulness. Because although he hadn't been expecting her per say, he had been thinking about her. "I guess," he said in a non-committal way.

"I'll move," she said and sat in the chair next to his. He strode and sat down, and suddenly everything felt just right. Many days and nights they had spent in these chairs talking about everything from death (he was the first person she had come to when her mother died and, very awkwardly, he had let her cry on his shoulder; it was the only time she ever cried about it) to Knock-Kneed Whispons. And though it sounded horribly clichéd to Draco, he knew this was just a new chapter in their life. The end of the beginning, if you will. Sure, they would miss each other. But they could still write and they would _always_ be friends. Loath as he was to admit it, he needed her.

Luna was looking at him. It was slightly creepy to have her gazing at him so intently like that. Finally, she asked, "What are you thinking?"

"Funny, because I was just wondering the same thing."

"So you were thinking about what I was thinking, while I was thinking about what you were thinking?" she asked, her eyebrows lifting.

Draco laughed. "Exactly. In other words, we were thinking about each other."

She laughed too. When she laughed, she did it with all abandon. It always made him laugh harder.

Finally, when they had calmed down, she asked, "I'll be thinking about you when you're away. Will you think of me too?"

"Of course I will. In fact, I'll even do you the honor of writing you letters. You'd better save them because one day you can say that you have letters from 'The Great Draco Malfoy' and they'll be worth loads of money. Remember that," he said, half joking with her.

"Yeah, I will," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Seriously though, you have nothing to worry about. I couldn't forget you no matter how hard I tried."

"I'll take that as a compliment and hold you to it," she said loftily.

And so they sat, two best friends about to leave each other for a long time and trying to hold on to each other's companionship as long as they could.

Luna sighed. "I have to go. Dad will probably need help with dinner."

Draco wrinkled his aristocratic nose distastefully. "That's what cooks and servants are for."

"For you and your rich friends, maybe. But for the other half, we do things ourselves. You should try it one day."

"No, thanks."

"I thought so," she said and chuckled. She walked over to the fireplace and prepared to take a handful of Floo Powder. Suddenly, though, she stopped and threw her arms around him. Draco was so surprised that he staggered back a few steps and struggled to regain his balance. He was filled with some kind of emotion, he just wasn't sure which one. Maybe it was just a mix of all he was feeling, rolled together to make a new emotion.

Luna pulled back and he was astonished to see that it seemed like they were feeling the same thing, whatever the feeling may be.

"Godspeed," she said suddenly. Quickly she stuck her hand in the elaborate vase in the mantle, threw the powder into the roaring fire, and disappeared with a crackle.

He almost felt like laughing. Godspeed? Who said that in the twentieth century? Draco remarked on how weird his best friend was.

Nonetheless, as he was preparing to leave, he whispered a Godspeed of his own as he closed the door with a soft click.


	3. In the Hands of Fate

Chapter Three. In the Hands of Fate

**Author's Note: Firstly, I want to apologize for not submitting this sooner. I feel especially bad because this particular was written probably around two months ago. I've just been really pre-occupied with my other works. I promise I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner. I just don't want to submit it until I'm done the chapter I'm currently working on. Thanks to all who read this, and a special thanks to my reviewers. Much love.**

If only he had an Invisibility Cloak. That's what would make Sunday nights better. Was his family not rich or powerful enough to have one? Certainly not! And yet Potter had one! Whoever was in charge of fate did a rather poor job of divvying it up properly.

_Damn you, Potter!_

It was annoyingly difficult darting in and out of empty classrooms and doubling back back to avoid getting caught being out of bed past bedtime. How could he explain to somebody why he was going to the Astronomy Tower at midnight?

_Looking at the stars_, he smirked to himself.

And yet, he hadn't missed a single Sunday since his second year. In fact, it had been his idea. It was the least he could do after he had decided to publicly ignore her.

It had started when he was in his first year of Hogwarts. While he had never figured Potter and his sidekicks into his picture of the grandest year ever, it was still pretty grand nonetheless. A lot of the Slytherins looked up to him since his family was easily the most influential family in wizard society. And he lived for that.

Crabbe and Goyle were his protectors (not that he'd ever admit that to anybody else), Pansy his girlfriend that was purely for show only, and Blaise his informant. Blaise Zabini could be the eyes and ears of Hogwarts if he wanted to (i.e. when bribed). And his best friend…well, she was back home, reading a magazine most people wouldn't be caught dead with and helping her father with dinner.

Meanwhile, her being pureblood and abnormal, she was often the topic of the Slytherin Common room discussion. She was too weird, too odd-looking, and too unacceptable to associate with. So when she had finally come to school the following year, he had no choice but either completely pretend she didn't exist or make fun of her. If he were a Gryffindor he would have remained her friend no matter what. But he a Slytherin through and through and couldn't shatter the reputation he had built.

And so the Sunday night rendez-vous was born. He had proposed to have a more clandestine friendship instead of an open one. To his surprise, she didn't seem to mind too much, as most people would have. But of course, she was not most people.

It was usually easy to slip out because his fellow classmates were too busy studying for their O.W.L exams. In truth, he should have been doing that too but he was never much of a studier anyway and welcomed the distraction. Although the tests were only a few weeks away, he was still only studying an hour or two a day.

Before he realized it he was already at the Astronomy Tower and stepping through the invisible wall that he had discovered ages ago. She was already there waiting for him, like she always was. No matter how early he left, she was always first. One of these days…

"Beat you again," she said loftily.

"Yeah, well, you'd better watch your back because you never know what could happen," he said, realizing how much he sounded like a sore loser.

"Indeed, I will."

Luna looked so serene and Draco was suddenly struck by how pretty she was. How had he never noticed it before? Not the conventional kind of pretty, of course. But then, nothing about her was conventional. And that's how he liked her. Her pink tongue darted out to lick her lips and he felt a peculiar feeling in his stomach. He even wondered what she would do if he just took her in his arms and snogged her senseless.

He shook his head. This was Luna – _Luna_! – he was thinking about snogging. And while the thought seemed strangely appealing at the moment, he knew he would live to regret it later.

"Are you okay, Draco?" she asked, looking concerned.

Well of course she looks concerned. You're standing there like a bloody idiot like you've just seen a girl for the first time. You're no better than Potty or the Weasel.

"Yeah, just a little headache is all."

"Or maybe it's a guilty conscience," she said with an edge.

All of his strange feelings were gone. He was so sick and tired of going through these discussions about the damned DA.

"That can't be it because I have nothing to feel guilty about. I did what I had to do and that's all there is to it!"

"You mean you did what you had to do to gain more power, to place yourself more and more at Umbridge's right hand. Which, by the way, you'll never get there."

Her words were angering him. "Look, Luna, I have better things to do than to stand here and argue with _you_. I'll just leave right now if—"

"I don't want you to leave," she said fervently, taking a few steps closer. She grasped her cold hand in his and he felt a shiver race up his spine. He exhaled a short breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in.

"Then give me a reason to stay," he whispered, recognizing just how seductive he sounded, even to his own ears.

As if they were being magnetically pulled together, their lips were drawn to each other into an achingly sweet and tender kiss. He placed his hands awkwardly on her hips while he felt her intertwine her arms around his neck. His moves were as tentative as if it were his first kiss, which it most certainly wasn't.

It was _their_ first kiss though. Frankly, until tonight he had never even thought of her this way. She was his best friend, his only real friend! The thought of kissing Luna Lovegood would have made any sane person run away screaming; instead it emboldened him to move more intensely on her. He prodded her mouth open with his, slid his tongue inside, and gently ran it over her smooth teeth. One of them groaned. It might have been him but he couldn't be sure. It was hard to tell whose body part belonged to whom. Corny as he knew it to be, he felt like they were one with each other. And oddly enough, he realized that this wasn't the first time he felt like this – most times when they were together, he felt this sense of being complete.

Finally they pulled apart from each other. Draco's lips had a not-quite-unpleasant tingle to them. Luna, too, was touching her lips and she looked well and truly snogged.

"Fate's laugh is a cackle," she whispered pensively. Although she habitually spouting bits of nonsense, for once he actually understood what she meant. Fate had been steering them along to this moment since their very first meeting seven years ago.

"And we're still leaving here unresolved, aren't we?" he asked her. It was indeed getting late and he needed to get back to his dorm straight away.

They both walked through the wall and stopped just before the corridor split to the right and left, to Ravenclaw and Slytherin, respectively.

Luna ran her hand along his cheek. "Let's just agree to disagree for now. Until next week at least, okay?"

Draco removed her hand from his cheek and brought it to his lips. He placed a kiss on her palm and then closed it up, as if to seal it there. He pulled away and said, "Agreed."

And so they parted ways.


	4. A Great and Terrible Beauty

**Author's Note: I know! I know! I deserved to be drawn and quarted. My only excuse is that I have, indeed, ruined _another_ computer, and I'm back to a laptop again, though a different one this time. And the bad thing is that I wrote this chapter SO long ago, and I had wanted to post it, but I had no way of doing it. At least now I'mfinally able to. I have another chapter written, and I need to start chapter 6. I would understand if my wonderful reviewers hated me, but it would be really great if you didn't, because I enjoy writing for you, if that means anything. I really am sorry and I really really will try to do better with the updating thing. I wrote a sequel to Naked, my other story, tonight and I think that got me back in the groove for writing, since I haven't done it for so long. I'm still trying to get used to typing again, though, and I'm making tons of mistakes. Anyway, I hope that this chapter is at least enjoyable, and I'll be working on 6 by the time you read this (It's true - I already have my outline and I'm planning what to write). Buen leer!**

Chapter Four. A Great and Terrible Beauty

Draco was seething. Other than the angry flashes of red, he was unseeing. He made his way blindly, by pure instinct only, up to the Astronomy Tower.

It was Friday night, not Sunday, but he knew she'd be there. And sure enough, when he went through the wall, she was there. She was pacing and in the first time since he had known her, she looked anxious.

Damn right she should! I could choke her right now and not feel an ounce of remorse.

Yes actually, he would.

"What's wrong Luna, you look upset?" he asked sarcastically.

"Draco, I—"

"Draco what?" he spat. "What could you possibly have to say to me that would somehow make this all seem _just a little bit better_?"

Like that was going to happen. Luna had done the worst thing that best friends could do to each other – she had betrayed him. She went to the Department of Mysteries with Potter and his idiotic posse and had landed his father in Azkaban. _Azkaban! _Every time he thought about it his blood boiled in anger all over again.

"I did what I had to do," she said quietly, throwing the words he had uttered not even a month ago in his face. It occurred to him just how much of a pompous hypocrite he sounded. He didn't care.

"So you feel like you _had_ to go, even though you know how much I hate Potter?"

"And what about you, Draco?" she asked suddenly, with a renewed vigor. "What about how you and your dumb cronies trapped us in Umbridge's office?"

"What about it? We've had this conversation before, remember? Umbridge appointed us to take action, not just sit around on our asses."

"Well, you did a really fine job of it," she said sarcastically. For the first time he got a sense of how mad she was at him. She rarely ever used sarcasm or got angry. It usually amused him because when she mad, most of the time it had to do with Granger. But to have it directed at him was just a little more than unnerving.

"And just so you're not living in a world covered by rose colored glasses, let me inform you of something; your father was hardly an innocent party. He would have killed me without a moment's hesitation."

"Don't be ridiculous," Draco sneered. "You're a pureblood. He would not have killed you."

Luna let out a humorless laugh. "Your father was the one that gave the orders to have us all killed except for Harry. In fact, the only person that was not a pureblood was Hermione."

Draco shuddered. This news was certainly a surprise to him. He knew his father was cold (much as Draco despised muggles and mudbloods, he had to admit that killing them all probably wasn't the best way to go about things), but it was always him who had promoted the importance having pure blood. And now he realized that he had made one of the worst mistake his father had always warned him about; he underestimated. His father had always told him to never under or over estimate people.

_How perfectly ironic!_ Draco thought bitterly.

The more logical part of him admitted how wrong his father actually was. He really did deserve to be in Azkaban. But the other part of him, the part that felt angry and betrayed, argued that somehow, it was still Luna's fault and she should not have been there.

He took a few steps closer to her, trying and failing to make her feel cowered in his presence. "Could you at least admit you were wrong?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Could you?"

"But I wasn't!" he retorted back.

"Then neither was I," she stated calmly.

Draco crossed his arms and stared at her coldly. So this is what it had come to. This was the thing that would keep them apart. It seemed pretty stupid to him, laughable even. And yet he still would not budge.

_Ha ha._

"Your pride will be the death of you, Draco Malfoy," she said with a soft finality, as if saying his name for the last time. And in essense, it was. They were over and they both knew it.

Tears slowly accumulating in her eyes. They would not fall, making her large eyes look glassy. He could barely stand to look at her because it made his heart ache too badly. He took comfort at least in that they had been doomed from the start. And this time their problems were too insurmountable, too irreconcilable, to be patched up with a kiss. Even if they did somehow manage to get passed this, something else was bound to come up. They were on opposite sides of the battlefield now, and the line was not crossable.

And yet as angry and hurt as he was right now, thinking back on their life together, he would not go back and change a thing.

Draco tried not to let the emotion show in his face. He didn't want her to know how hard this was for him, though as intuitive as she was, she probably already knew it.

He turned around abruptly and headed towards the wall that he would pass through for the last time. "Goodbye, Luna," he said as if he were dismissing a servant.

And he left before she could say anything to melt his half-formed resolved, without even so much as a backward glance.

The last thing Luna saw before she fell to the ground on her knees was Draco's stiff retreating back.

She felt the tears that had welled up in her eyes silently slip out and she did nothing to stop them. This was the first time she had cried since her mother died, mostly because she never had much reason to cry.

Draco's gone.

That's the one thought that raced through her head. He had gone and left her for good. She wasn't sure how to make sense of that. She couldn't quite make sense of how they had gotten to the point of no return.

Draco's gone.

Eventually, Luna pulled herself off the floor and gathered her composure. She wiped her eyes and straightened her clothes. Not that her Housemates would really care, but she still didn't want them to see her in such a state. They already had enough to make fun of her about.

Luna knew good and well that other people thought of her as weird. Of course, she wasn't inclined to agree, but she knew that everyone was entitled to his or her opinions.

People tended to make judgments about her before they even got to know her. True, she realized that what she presented could possibly be interpreted as weird. But she still didn't particularly like how people treated her. And up until now, she hadn't cared. She had Draco, she had her father, she had her diversions, and that was all she needed.

But now… well, she still had her father. They were as close as ever. But she had lost Draco, probably forever, and the D.A. was gone. She felt a certain companionship with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville, but they weren't her friends. So after all that, the only thing she had left were her beliefs, which she firmly clung to.

Dusting herself off, she walked through the wall that Draco had walked out of just minutes ago. Luckily, she managed to get back down to her dorm unnoticed where a restless night followed for her.

Things had changed between them so drastically during the days following The Event, as Luna liked to think of it. When they passed each other in the halls, they would each look the other was. When Sunday night came, they treated it as if it were just another night. When the reached their homes for the summer, no letters were exchanged. When Luna left for Sweden with her father, he had no idea of it. When Draco received his assignment from the Dark Lord and was so afraid that he would fail everybody, she wasn't there to comfort him.

Draco and Luna were no more.


	5. Homecoming

Chapter Five. Homecoming

**Author's Note: See, I told you I would be better about updating! Chapter 6 is fully finished, so that's why 5 is up now. Which brings up my question – would you prefer me to post chapters as I write them, or wait until I have another chapter in the wings? I'll leave it up to you. For now, enjoy!**

Luna boarded the train for Hogwarts for the seventh time, the last time. She wasn't quite sure what to think and how to feel about it. On the one hand, it was hard to imagine that she was actually leaving. It felt like she had just gotten there. On the other hand, she couldn't wait and see what the rest of her life would take her. Who would she be in a year?

So many good and bad things had happened to her at Hogwarts. She had her first kiss here, made her friends, and had actually learned things, both educational and otherwise. Also, she had lost her best friend here, was often made fun of, and Dumbledore had died. It had to be the magic of the castle that made it such a good and bad place to be.

Luna started looking for a compartment to sit in. Just then Ginny stuck her head out of one. "Come sit with me, Luna."

"Sure," she said. She liked Ginny. She had always been nice to her, even when others weren't. Last year (their sixth year) they had become good friends. They had often confided in each other.

Truthfully, they had nobody else. Luna had been an outsider from the start. But at least she was used to it; Ginny's status of being a loner was quite newfound. In the summer between fifth and sixth year, she lost her brother Percy to the war. Also, Harry, Ron and Hermione had left for unknown parts and only sent letters at Christmas.

At first her friends had been supportive of her, oftentimes giving her a shoulder to lean on when she needed it. But then Ginny started pushing them away and eventually she pushed them too far.

However, Luna had refused to be pushed away, because she already knew what it felt like to lose somebody you loved. She had went through it twice before and knew exactly how to help her, though Luna never told her about Draco.

"Guess what?" Ginny asked, looking ready to burst. Luna probably could guess but she wouldn't take away her glory.

"What?"

"I got a letter from Ron saying that they should be coming home soon! Probably within the next month or so. Isn't that great?"

Luna smiled. She knew that was most likely the explanation behind her giddiness. "That's great news. You must be really excited to see them."

"I am. Anyway, how was your summer?" Ginny asked excitedly.

"It was not that interesting," she replied, only half telling the truth. Summers for her weren't interesting at all anymore. They gave her a lot of time to think of things that she would much rather forget. "I edited papers for The Quibbler."

Ginny shrugged. "Better than sitting around waiting for a letter that I thought was not going to come anyway."

Suddenly Luna realized the real reason why she was so happy; Ron returning meant Harry returning. And even though they had broken up before he left, Ginny had told her that she knew they still had a chance to be together.

"I suppose," Luna said.

As the train took off she settled in her seat and prepared for the long ride ahead of her. Patient as she was, she absolutely hated long rides and the ride to Hogwarts always seemed especially long. She took the latest issue of the Quibbler out and groaned.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked her with a raised eyebrow.

She sighed. "It's just that I've seen so much of this magazine for the past two months, that I'm pretty much sick and tired of it."

Ginny chuckled. "Trade with me then." Witch Weekly sat on her lap.

"Thanks," Luna said gratefully. Though she almost felt like a traitor to her father, she was glad to have something else to read.

They both read in silence until the lunch trolley came. Luna ordered a couple of sweets while Ginny bought an armload. She had to laugh to herself; Ginny was was just like her brother.

"I wonder what are NEWT classes like?" Luna wondered.

Ginny shrugged. "I have no idea. When Bill and Charlie took them I was too young to remember what they said about them. And Percy said they were actually very easy, but then he's always been smart. Not to mention a complete weirdo."

Luna nodded. "Yes, I doubt they're called 'nastily exhausting' just to get people to study."

"You never know," Ginny said.

"Your mum must be pretty upset, though."

"Why?"

"Because now she has three children who never took the exams."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. When it came time for the results, I saw her checking the mail expectantly every day. I guess she hoped that wherever Ron was, he was somehow able to take his exams."

She got a faraway look in her eyes; she was obviously missing her brother. Luna could tell that she worried about him a lot too. She could relate – she often felt the same things about Draco.

"I wonder whatever happened to Malfoy?" Ginny suddenly asked her. The question took her by surprise. What a weird coincidence that Ginny should ask the same thing she was thinking.

Was she a hounderot? Hounderots could actually read people's thoughts. She knew all about them because they had been in the Quibbler last month. Luna shook her head. No way could Ginny be a hounderot because they did not have the ability to shape-shift.

"I don't know…" she said warily. She usually tried to think of him as little as possible and she always felt as if she had to be on her guard when his name was mentioned.

"The last I knew," Ginny continued, "is that he was no longer with Snape and the other Death Eaters. Fred and George told me. But nobody knows the whys or hows of it."

"Nobody knows much of anything these days," Luna countered.

It was true. The other side had been suspiciously silent for the past year. Of course there had been random and minor attacks, but nothing of any real substance. With Harry Potter gone and You-Know-Who still hidden, everybody was especially tense, just waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"That's for sure," Ginny said and sighed. And that was the last thing they said for the rest of the ride.

Seeing the castle for the first time in awhile was always an amazing sight. The sense of nostalgia came back full force as she stepped into the Great Hall. It was just as magnificent as she remembered. She felt like a little first or second year all over again.

"I'll see you later," she said to Ginny as she headed over to the Ravenclaw table and prepared to watch the Sorting. This was one of her favorite parts. She liked to guess what house the kids would be sorted into before they actually put the hat on. Most times she was right.

After the sorting was over, Professor McGonagall got up to make her speech. It was still hard to get used to having her instead of Professor Dumbledore.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I'm glad to see familiar faces and new ones to. Now, before we begin the feast, I'd like to introduce your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher – please give a warm welcome to Professor—"

Suddenly everyone turned their attention over to the staff table. Luna herself had even forgotten to look over because the concept of having a new Defense teacher was hardly new. Last year they had Hestia Jones. And while she was just a tad boring in her methods, too cut and dry, she was a competent teacher nonetheless, which is more than could be said about other previous Defense teachers. But her mother had been killed in a "mysterious accident" and she could no longer teach them.

"—Professor Longbottom."

There was a collective gasp in the room. Luna could not believe it. Neville teaching Defense? Sure, Hogwarts was a magical place, but it transferred them into an alternate universe?

And sure enough, there he was looking somewhat nervous but with a definite air of confidence. It was extremely strange to see him sitting there. It was almost like seeing a different Neville – or rather, Professor Longbottom – altogether. What had made McGonagall hire him? It was unlike her to get somebody that wasn't qualified; but then again, the position hardly elicited a plethora of applicants.

However, thinking back on it, Neville had certainly changed last year. From what she could see and the scattered conversation she had with him, he was very focused in his school. Much more so than ever before. And whatever drove his ambitions to work harder, they also worked wonders for his personality. Though his anxiety and clumsiness weren't completely abolished, Luna could definitely see where he had greatly improved in those areas.

"I said," McGonagall warned, fixing the crowd with her stern gaze, "please give a warm welcome to Professor Longbottom."

A scattered applause followed. Nobody was trying to be rude; they were just too confused to know what to do. Luna, however, was by far the loudest clapper, and when she looked over at the Gryffindor table, Ginny was coming at a close second. They caught each other's eyes and smiled. Looking up at the staff table, she saw that Neville reddened slightly, but smiled as well.

"Thank you," Professor McGonagall said stiffly. "And now, enjoy your meal."

As she said the words, the food appeared on the tables. She dug into it ravenously as she was starving. She avoided all the meat, though, because she was a vegetarian.

As the meal ended, Professor McGonagall rose to her feet once more. Immediately all eyes shifted to her because, like Dumbledore, she demanded attention, though in a very different way and for different reasons.

"Good night, everyone."

Slowly, everyone got to their feet and headed to their respective dormitories, bewildered. The thing about the Headmistress was that nobody ever knew if they were about to reprimanded, praised, or something else altogether.

The next day at Breakfast when the timetables were handed out, Luna was happy to see that she had Defense first. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around. It was Ginny.

"Ready?" she asked excitedly.

Luna smiled. "Yes."

She got up from the table and left the Great Hall with her. They were both in all the same N.E.W.T level classes, which included Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions and Herbology. Luna had been delighted last year to learn that she only had one class a day; however, that meant the workload was much heavier.

They made their way quickly to the Defense room. Neville was already there seated at the teacher's desk, though they were the only students.

"Good morning, Professor Longbottom!" chirped Ginny.

Neville beamed and flushed with pleasure at the same time. "Good morning, ladies."

Luna walked to a desk in the front row and set her books down. "If you don't mind me asking, how did this come about?"

"No I don't mind," he said, brushing his hair back. Luna was suddenly struck by all the things she had failed to notice last year – his broader shoulders, his deeper voice, and his more toned body. Though hardly a "hottie" he certainly was very good-looking in his own right.

Of course, she thought, I should notice this now that he's my professor. Ginny caught her eyes and lifted a brow as if acknowledging the subtle changes in Neville.

"Well," he said, "Nobody knew it but I was doing some training on the side with Lupin last year. He really helped me out a lot and even recommended me to McGonagall for the post. Plus I got top score on my Defense, Charms and Herbology N.E.W.T's, and," he added proudly.

Luna was impressed. She had no idea of anything he had been doing last year. "That's great, Neville. Or rather, Professor Longbottom."

He waved his hand in dismissal. "When it's just us you don't have to call me that. In fact, I insist that you don't. It would be too strange."

Speaking of strange… Luna thought, looking at Ginny. She had a weird look on her face, as if trying to piece together a puzzle in her head.

"Was Lupin coming here?" she asked slowly.

"Er, no," Neville answered, looking uncomfortable. "I, er, went to Grimmauld Place to practice on the weekends."

Ginny frowned. "But I thought Grimmauld Place has been closed for over a year? I mean, Harry is the only one who can open it now and he's…"

The last piece of the puzzle slipped into place. She trailed off and her eyes narrowed dangerously. Neville was starting to sweat and even Luna wanted to run away as fast as she could.

"I shouldn't have said anything," he muttered.

"Well it's about somebody did! Tell me everything!"

"I can't!" he protested. "You're not even supposed to know this much."

The glint was gone from her eyes, instead to be replaced with a look desperation.

"Please," she pleaded. "I've been thinking about non-stop since the last day I saw him. I don't have anything to go on and nobody will tell me what's going on."

He looked torn. To herself, Luna smirked. Ginny knew just how to play him. Obviously she had learned much from growing up with six older brothers.

"Oh, all right," he finally said. "But you've got to keep this an absolute secret. Don't even talk about it between the two of you."

"We won't," Ginny answered for them both.

Neville looked at her. "I won't."

He sighed. "Well it started on the day of Dumbledore's funeral. I overheard Harry talking with Ron and Hermione about some thing they had to look for and that they wouldn't be returning. Ever since Dumbledore had died, I wanted to do something meaningful for the war and so I asked if I could come."

Luna gasped. "You did?"

"Let him finish." Ginny shot her the evil eye.

"Anyway, he said no, of course. But I was determined to do something so I went to Lupin and the three of us came up with me practicing Defense, Charms, and Transfiguration on the weekends. That's why my marks were so high."

"And Harry…?" she prompted.

"Right, well he was only allowed to go on the condition that he come back every now and then to check in."

"But where is he? What was he doing?"

Neville shook his head. "I don't know. Not even Lupin knew. And I only saw him twice."

"Two more times than I did," she muttered darkly.

"And why did you decide to teach here?" Luna asked.

He shrugged. "I guess I want to be helpful in anyway I can and coming back here seemed the right thing to do. I'm not good enough to be an Auror and I don't particularly want to be one, either. I'd actually like to do some work with plants and other different herbs, but I can wait."

Students gradually started drifting in for class. Neville ushered them away and they sat down. Luna held a lot of respect for Neville, more so now than ever. She thought it was really brave and noble of him to sacrifice his dreams for a greater cause.

Maybe there can be more than one hero to a story.


	6. Christmas Beginnings

Chapter Six. Christmas Beginnings

Luna felt like she should be committed to St. Mungo's. She couldn't believe the crazy, irrational thoughts she was having. She was sitting in Defense Against the Dark Arts, staring at her teacher, and wishing more than anything that she could get up and snog him in front of the whole class. Luna had feelings for Neville Longbottom.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when it had started. Over the past three months they had forged a nice camaraderie with each other, and Luna felt herself more and more attracted to him. She admired his spirit, and courage. She liked how he said many interesting things, and listened to everything she had to say. She was grateful for her friendship with Ginny, but it was her's and Neville's that she really valued. And she knew that he felt the same way as well; sometimes, when their conversations turned to the more serious side, he bared his heart on the table in a way she knew he had never done with anyone else before.

What felt so weird is that she had known him for years, and had never gotten to really know him before. There had only ever been room for one serious relationship in her life (if it could really be called an _actual_ relationship), and Draco had selfishly taken up that spot. And having a lot of time to put things into perspective over the summer, Luna realized that what they had wasn't healthy or natural. The only way they could be friends was in a secret room under the cover of night? Sure, it might've been the most real thing she ever did or would have because there were no barriers or illusions, but it was also probably the most destructive. All they had was each other, and when neither was willing to change, it shattered their worlds. Or at least, it shattered her world. And Luna vowed that she would never be so dependent or feel that way about one person again.

And with Neville it was different. It felt fresh and exciting, good and sincere. And the fact that he was her teacher made it just a little taboo at the same time. The thought of it thrilled her. So yeah, daydreaming about her professor might've been a little silly, but not taking this chance to start anew would be even sillier.

"Miss Lovegood?" Neville was trying to get her attention and several students in the class was looking at her. Luna didn't care much.

"Sorry professor. What was the question?"

He shook his head in a disappointment that Luna suspected was feigned. "See me after class and we'll discuss it."

He continued on with the rest of the class and Luna hid a smirk. He obviously wanted to see her alone, and she was more than happy to oblige.

"That was very wrong of you to daydream in class, Miss Lovegood," Neville scolded after the class was dismissed and it was just the two of them left in the classroom together.

"I'm very sorry, professor," she said and bowed her head in mock obedience. "Will you have to punish me?"

"I know you'd love nothing better," he said with a twinkle in his eye that she adored. "But I have a different idea."

"What?" She was confused now. She knew before that they were just teasing, but he sounded more serious now.

"Spend Christmas with me," he said simply without any awkwardness or preamble like the old Neville would have done.

To be honest, it more than took her by surprise. "At your house?"

"Well I was thinking at Hagrid's house, actually."

"Er..."

His face lit up with laughter. "Of course at my house! Though not with my grandmother, since we haven't been on speaking terms lately. But I share a house with my older cousin, and he'll be there part of the time with his wife and daughter. And while they'll be away visiting her parents and I'll be alone, I thought it would be nice to have some company. I know it may not exactly be allowed, but just a few months ago we were classmates and as long as nobody finds out, it shouldn't be a big deal."

"Wow." It was taking her a moment to digest all of what he said.

"I'm sorry I sprung this on you like that. I'll understand if you have other plans, or if you feel uncomfortable staying with me. Though I promise not to take advantage of you or anything like that." His face reddened at that and Luna could tell he hadn't meant to say all of that.

"Well, as far as other plans go, I had only planned to stay at Grimmauld Place with Ginny and her family for a joint Christmas and low-key celebration for Harry, Ron and Hermione's return - "

"Yeah, I had been planning on stopping in on that for a little while too."

"-but I've always preferred a quieter Christmas myself."

"Are you saying yes?" Neville looked anxious and Luna felt a little superficial and disgusted at herself for the pleasure she got from holding somebody else's happiness in her hands.

"I'm absolutely saying yes!"

"I'm glad, because my heart would have broken if you had said no." He scooped her into a hug and she couldn't help but giggle like the silly girl that she felt. She wasn't even so sure if it was a bad thing.

"I should warn you though," she said. "If anyone's in any danger of being taken advantage of, it definitely won't be me."

"I have a feeling you're right," he smirked.

And for the second time in her life, Luna Lovegood was kissed by somebody who held her heart in their hands.

The house they were staying in was a charming little English cottage in a small Muggle town. The house belong to both Neville and his cousin Winston, passed down from their grandfather. Luna loved the house and she liked staying in it. The days leading up to Christmas were very enjoyable. They sang carols around the neighbourhood, picked out and decorated the tree, and attended a nativity play at the local church. She was never a religious person, and didn't think she ever would be, but she appreciated it all the same.

On Christmas morning she woke up with a smile on her face. It was the first time they actually had the house to themselves. Various relatives had been stopping in and since they arrived, but now they were all back in their homes. Winston and his wife Victoria and their four-year-old daughter Elizabeth (who was quite adorable) were staying at her parents house for the remainder of the holiday, and then return to their flat in London after Boxing Day. Luna and Neville would visit the Weasley's later in the day along with his parents (he had confided in her about Mr and Mrs Longbottom, and while it almost broke her heart when he told her, she appreciated that he trusted her enough to tell her. She was more than a little ashamed that she felt relief that her mother was dead and not living a half-life.) her own dad tomorrow, but for now they were all alone.

Luna wrapped her dressing gown around her body and left out of the guest room. Neville's room was just down the hall on the opposite side. Attending boarding school for seven years had should have hardly made sleeping in the near vicinity of boys an awkward thing, and yet it slightly was. It was different because she knew that what lay between them was bordering on crossing over from the platonic side. All they needed was one more push...

"Neville!" She burst his door open without any apology and leaped on top of the lumpy bundle of blankets on the bed.

"Ah!"

"Wake up! It's Christmas day, don't you know?"

"I know that very well, thank you," he grumbled. He sat up with his hair sticking up all over the place and his clothes rumpled. Luna thought he looked very cute.

"Then let's go!" She impatiently grabbed his hand and tugged him out of bed and downstairs. The excitement of Christmas day had definitely gotten to her. In all actuality, there was only one gift for them each under the tree for them. They had already received some gifts, and had more to get, but for now all they had each other's gift. That was just fine to Luna.

"Merry Christmas," Neville said as he handed her his gift. She tossed hers over to him.

She unwrapped her gift and her eyes widened. It was a moving statue of a red and black Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

"You like it?" he said to her.

Luna went over to him and hugged him. "I really do. What about you."

"How did you know?"

"A Golded-Winged Trountain might have told me." Luna had gotten him _The Rarest Plants in the World_ because of something Professor Sprout had mentioned in passing, and she knew he would undoubtedly want it. It was the newest edition and she guessed that he probably didn't have it yet.

Neville raised one eyebrow. "Right."

Luna caressed his cheek. "Thank you for inviting me."

Neville gave her a petal-soft kiss on the mouth. "Thank you for coming. You've really brightened up my Christmas."

"Ditto."


	7. Season's Change

Chapter Seven. Season's Change

If it was possible to actually find a level of contentment in the midst of a war, than Luna had definitely found it. Yes, there was still that undercurrent of fear that was going throughout school, especially since Death Eater activity had been picking up. And she was still stressed because NEWT's were only in a matter of weeks. But when she spent time with him, or even thought about him, everything seemed almost right in the world, if only for a moment.

She was currently under their favorite tree by the lake, waiting for him to finish up his last class of the day before dinner. They had started meeting under the tree ever since the first hint of the warm weather breaking through. They were both nature people at heart.

Luna breathed in the intoxicating scents of spring; the damp earth from a recent rain, the sap from the trees around her. She took in the sounds of the birds chirping and the sway of the leaves in the light wind. And she sensed…Neville close by. She felt a smile creep to her face.

"Now what's a lovely girl like you doing out here all on her own?"

She looked up to see him standing above her with his arms folded and an expression of mock concern on his face.

"Well," she said, following along, "I'm waiting for my professor so we can carry on with a wickedly clandestine affair, but I fear he's left me for another girl, probably some Gryffindor snot," she sniffed.

Neville sat down next to her, leaned his back against the tree and stretched his legs out. "If it weren't for that last remark I would have called the fellow a real prat."

"And now?"

He gently leaned forward until their noses caressed one another's, and whispered against her lips, "And now I call him lucky for finding such a cool looking girl with a fierce fire inside of her."

He was about to kiss her but Luna placed her finger against their lips as a barrier. "And you gleaned all of that from just sentence, or do you have any prior experience?"

Neville smirked. "I know that, despite your appearance, you're no ice queen."

Luna frowned slightly. She may not have been an ice queen herself, but she always used to have the king by her side. She suppressed a shudder. Luna didn't want to think about _him_ in Neville's presence.

"No, I'm not," she said in a slightly deadpanned manner, but he just took it as sarcastic.

"You showed me that the other night," he growled in her ear.

Luna pinked. She _actually_ pinked. They hadn't had sex, but they had gotten pretty damn close to it. If the knock on the door by Professor hadn't interrupted them (and effectually cooled their ardor, as well) she was not sure they would have done it on their own accord. Now, though, she was glad they hadn't gone through with it, if only because she had not imagined her first time would be on a hard desk cluttered with papers and other rubbish. Not that she was expecting a bed of roses, or anything (though that would be nice…) but an actual _bed_ would be preferable. Now, however, she was sure she wanted to wait for a different reason – marriage. Not that she was particularly religious, but the idea did sound nice, to be with only person for your whole life.

Neville then proceeded to nibble on the ear he just finished whispering in, and Luna felt lost. Any and all coherent thoughts fled her brain to be replaced by flashed of the two of them, in anything but innocent situations.

He worked his way to her neck, jaw, and then finally to her lips, where he devoured her mouth. All the while his hand had worked his way under her shirt and was gently smoothing his way up her stomach. All the sensations were feeling very good to Luna, and with no interruptions this time, she was likely to go all the way if she didn't nip it right now.

She managed to pull herself away and regain some of her composure, though he was still stroking her skin.

"Something wrong?" he asked with his eyebrows knit together.

"Marry me," she blurted suddenly. Well, she _was_ one to never beat around the bush, after all.

"What?" he asked, his eyes widening and his motions abruptly stopping.

Luna took a deep breath and said more slowly this time, "Marry me."

"I heard you, I just—"

"You just don't want to marry me," she said quietly. "It's okay, I understand." But it definitely hurt. Two rejections in as many years, though at least with Draco it hadn't even gotten close to the point of either one of them considering marriage.

"Damn it, Luna, you've barely even given me the chance to digest any of this."

"What's to digest? You either know what you want or you don't. The ancient Grellowtippins believed that, and I'm inclined to agree with them."

Neville shook his head. "I never get used to that," he muttered.

"What?" she asked guardedly.

"I never get used to you sprouting…er…obscure facts like that."

"Yeah, well, that's me," she said darkly and started to get up.

"Wait," he said desperately, tugging on her hand and, accidentally or not, plopping her onto his lap.

"What more could there be so say? After all we never had any commitments and…"

"Oh, will you just shut the hell up for a moment and let me talk?"

"Fine," she huffed and folded her arms, just a little bit offended. "Talk."

Neville took a deep breath and said, "The only reason why I was so shocked is because I was disappointed. I was disappointed that you got to ask me before I was able to ask you."

"You were going to ask me?" Luna gasped.

"Why are you so surprised?" Neville chuckled. "Do you think that I wouldn't want to marry you? Did you doubt for even a moment that I loved you?"

Luna didn't know what to say. It wasn't that she doubted him, she just had no idea that he would act on his feelings. She felt her heart soar; she loved and was loved back, and isn't that what everybody searches for in life?

"Because I do," he said fiercely and hugged her to him. She lay her head on his shoulder and reveled in the moment. "I even have a ring."

She didn't move but looked at him from his shoulder. "Really? And where is this ring?"

"It's up at the castle in my room. I had been planning a whole romantic evening together, where I would propose to you. Aren't you impressed? Aren't you going to jump up and down and scream your head off? I thought girls loved that kind of thing."

Luna cocked an eyebrow. "Do you really take me for the type of girl that would jump up and down screaming?"

"No," he said with a half grin. "And that's probably why I love you so much."

They sat outside together for only a short time more until they both had to be inside. It would be very suspicious if they were both missing from dinner, so they had come inside reluctantly. Luna longed for the days when she could finally have an openly acknowledged relationship.

Not feeling particularly hungry, Luna skipped dinner and went to the library instead. She was supposed to meet Ginny there anyway to study later, so she figured she'd get a head start. But to her surprise, Ginny was already there.

"How come you're not at dinner?" Luna asked as she joined her at a table. She opened her bag and started taking out her books, parchment and quills.

"Oh, I'll be having dinner later," she said vaguely.

Luna's interest was peaked but she didn't want to give her that satisfaction, so she didn't say anything more. Ten minutes later, however, her curiosity got the best of her.

"Fine, I give. Tell me more."

Ginny smirked. "I was wondering how long it would take you to ask. Anyway, you know how even though Harry's back, he still hasn't been around much, right?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "How could I not?" It was true that ever since Harry had returned from who-knows-where, he had still been missing a lot. All he would tell anyone was that he had something important to do, and that he was almost done. While this mollified everyone else, if only slightly, it incensed Ginny even more and it was all she seemed to be talking about lately.

"Well he promised he'd make it up to me, and he's coming to get me tonight and we're going to have dinner out."

"Where?"

"He's going to surprise me," she gushed.

"That's nice," Luna said with a smile but offered up no more comments and they got back to studying. She didn't trust herself to speak. While she knew that Ginny took this as a good sign and was very happy, Luna didn't want to burst her bubble with what she thought was in all actuality happening. This was the last supper, so to speak. The war was coming to a close and this would be ended soon and this was Harry's way of saying goodbye in case he didn't come out of it alive. The thought saddened her.

"Oh I forgot to ask," Ginny said. "Why weren't you at dinner?"

Luna shrugged. "Just didn't feel very hungry."

"Is anything wrong?"

"No," Luna said with a genuine smile. "Everything's right. I trust you won't say anything, right?"

"Of course not," Ginny said defensively. "We're friends and I'm a little hurt you could think I would blab your business all about the school."

"I'm sorry. It's just that if word got out…"

"Oh, just say it already!"

"No shouting in the library!" came the voice of Madam Pince.

"But she just did," Luna said absently.

"Luna…" Ginny said warningly.

"Sorry. Well, it's like this. Neville and I have been dating for a couple of months and now we're going to get married." She said that all really fast, just anxious to get it over with.

"Well I already knew that!"

Luna's jaw dropped. "You knew? But how?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You don't grow up with Fred and George without being able to detect things that others can't. Now, I didn't know you were getting married, of course. But that's just wonderful!"

As they talked of trivial details, Luna couldn't help but let her mind wander to another man, and how he would react to the news. _A lot of sneering would be involved_, she thought wryly. Would he try and stop her? Would he even care? Did he even think about her or, God forbid, love her?

Love her like she still loved him?


	8. Darkest Hour

Chapter Eight. Darkest Hour

Smoke. Chaos. Screams. Bursts of light.

That was the craziness that had filled the barren streets of Hogsmeade. The stench of death was as acrid as the underlying layer of fear.

When all was said and done, the war was won; but the price had been high. Everybody stepped up and did their part. Harry saved them all with his quick thinking and ultimately ridding them of the terror that haunted their lives for too many years.

Many others sacrificed their lives for the cause. It hurt Luna to think of all the loss that happened that night.

She was currently sitting alone in her dormitory, in the dark. Neville was in the Infirmary, suffering from some rather severe injuries, but nothing he wouldn't recover from. She herself had a deep gash on her forehead and ghastly-looking burn on her leg.

Amazingly enough, she wasn't able to feel any of the physical pain as anything more than a slight irritation. It was the pain she felt inside, the one in her heart, that was eating her alive.

_Draco was dead. Dead, dead, dead…_

It was the only cohesive thought in her head. The only one that registered in her head at all. The fact that the war was finally over; that everything could go back to normal; that finals were over and she could actually live on her own with her wonderful boyfriend that she wasn't in love with; none of it mattered.

_Dead, dead, dead…_

Why was it that a night that should have been so relieving ended up being so horrible instead. Why was it that on the night that Draco redeemed himself, he died? Who decided the order of things in life, anyway?

_Dead, dead, dead…_

Draco had showed up after years in hiding, and started fighting Death Eaters. Then, an unknown spell had hit him and he vanished. Simply vanished. Where his body landed was unclear because of all the smoke in the air, but the green light that hit him squarely in the chest was unmistakable. He was gone from her life. For good this time.

_Dead, dead dead…_

While in the midst of deep thought, Luna was barely able to register a quiet tap on the door. She shook her head to try and clear her mind, stood up, and answered the door. She was actually surprised to see Ginny stganding in the small corridor.

"What are you doing here," she asked, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears. For one thing, it was very hoarse from all the yelling and screaming, and also from hours of disuse. And in fact there had only been one voice running on her head for hours on end, replaying years of memories of him.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Ginny replied.

"Why?" Luna asked. She really was _not_ in the mood to talk to anyone at that moment, and was irritated at the intrusion. She was only, after all, allowing herself this one night to mourn. It was the same amount of time she had given herself for her beloved mother.

"What do you mean, 'why'? Neville's waiting for you. He woke up around ten minutes and wondered where you were. Oh, and I believe congradulations are in order. Why didn't you tell me! I'm so happy for you! Despite all the sadness, everything's turning out to be right again," Ginny said in a rush and threw her arms around Luna.

Overwhelmed, Luna could only stand with her arms hanging loosely by her side. She was having a hard time keeping up with everything with Ginny was saying.

"How did you even get in here?" She asked her.

"Oh, the Scholar let me in," she said airily. Ginny let her go and swept into her dark room.

"Really? But he would never let anyone in without a password…"

"Luna, what's the big deal? I guess that was his way of celebrating the end of the war. Why are you sitting here alone in the dark?" She waved her wand and the room immediately lit up. It was very harsh on Luna's eyes and actually put her in a worse mood.

Extremely aggrivated, Luna finally snapped, "Can you just get the hell out my room! Don't you see I don't want to be bloody bothered!"

While Ginny was staring at her, dumbfounded, Luna snatched her wand out her hand, dimmed the lights again and flopped on her bed.

It felt really good to get her frustration off her chest. To be honest, Luna rarely ever lost her cool. She was generally a very calm person and enjoyed the tranquility of her life. It also meant that when bad things happened, she had a hard time getting her emotions out. She usually didn't let things get to her, and when they did she didn't always know how to handle them.

"What's your damned problem, Luna? There's no reason for you to be like this! Neville's fine, we _all_ lived. I know the deaths were horrible, but it was nobody we personally knew."

If she only realized what she was saying. If she only realized that each word she spoke was like a knife twisting in her gut. But Ginny wasn't the one with loss on her shoulders. Her family had survived, her family had survived and her love had survived.

Luna knew she was being selfish. She knew she had a lot compared to most. But Draco was more than her friend, more than her brother, more than her love. He was all three in one. And that's what made his death so horrible.

_Dead, dead, dead…_

"Just go away. If I want to be alone, than that's my right."

Luna felt Ginny move closer to her and then bed sag with her weight as she sat down. Her hand tentatively rested on her shoulder. Luna immediately tensed at her touch.

"I think I know what this is about?"

"What?" Luna asked and sighed. She couldn't possibly know, and it annoyed her that Ginny would even try to guess.

"Neville," she said simply. "It scared you that he nearly died tonight. I know the feeling. I love Harry and I don't know how I could have gone on tonight if he had died. But he lived. They both lived. And the world is better because of our heroes."

"But I don't love him," Luna blurted. There. She had said it.

"What?" Ginny asked in a shocked whisper and withdrawing her hand from her shoulder.

Luna sat up and felt tears start to sting her eyes. _Great, now I'm crying._

"I mean, of course I love Neville. I wouldn't be marrying him if I didn't."

"But you're not in love with him? I don't understand. I thought Neville was everything you wanted?"

"Well, he's not! He's everything I settled for and nothing I wanted. He made me feel good and he takes good care of me. But I want more."

"What more is there?" Ginny asked, shaking her head in confusion. Even in the dark she could sense Ginny's utter confusion.

Luna sighed and said, "I need to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell and I don't want you to react."

"Um…okay, I guess. How horrible is this going to be?"

"I'm in love with Draco," Luna said before she could change her mind. In a way it was a major relief to finally say it aloud. And then again, how would Ginny judge her?

"I need light for this," Ginny muttered and waved her wand, filling the room with light once more. Luna shielded her eyes and waited for them to adjust before taking her hand down.

"Now come again."

"You heard me, and don't make me repeat it."

"How?" Ginny gasped.

Luna explained to her the story of how they met and the way their friendship evolved. She told her everything and left nothing out. To Ginny's credit, she reacted in all the right places of the story.

"Well," Ginny said when Luna was done talking. "I guess that explains a lot."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, putting her hand on Luna's cheek and caressing it. "Like why you want to be alone right now. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Luna whispered, a tear finally escaping down her cheek.

"He died a hero too, you know. I saw him fighting there for awhile before he was hit. On _our_ side. I don't know what changed him, but I think for one moment he was good.

"Good," Luna echoed. She could believe it of him. Spoiled brat he may be, selfish, arrogant, cold he may be. But good was he also.

"You have to choose, though. You know that, right?"

"I know. I can't marry him loving another. I have to love him fully or not at all. I love him, I truly do. But not as I should."

"But can you live alone your whole life, always remembering what was?"

Luna shrugged. She honestly didn't know what to do.

"At least go see him. He wants to see you, and he deserves that much. You have a lot of thinking to do, but not just yet. You have a fiance to see."

She would see him she would talk to him and console him. She would be almost everything he needed. But she wouldn't – couldn't – love him.


End file.
